What makes people so stubborn

Spoilt children usually behave in this manner. On the other hand, when parents are controlling, possessive, and make all the decisions regarding their kid themselves, the child thinks that her freedom is threatened. This is a common reason why, in later childhood or in teen years, some children become rebellious and stubborn.

In this case, stubbornness is a defence mechanism used by a person to avoid the pain of being controlled by others. We observe this kind of stubbornness in relationships too. For instance, if someone told a person that his wife is too demanding and controlling, then he might suddenly become stubborn even if he used to behave normally till now.

This leaves the wife clueless as to what caused this sudden change in his behaviour. Stubborn people are rigidly attached to their beliefs, opinions, ideas, and tastes. So, in a way, this is also a type of pain-avoidance. This kind of stubbornness can hamper the growth of a person and badly affect their relationships with people.

Some people act stubbornly just to annoy others. We encounter such people everywhere, and communicating with them can sometimes become frustrating and exhausting. However, there are some easy ways to deal with them. Dr Ishita Mukerji, senior psychologist at Kaleidoscope, a mental wellness centre mentions eight ways to interact with stubborn people , and bring them on the same page as yours:. Be gentle and slow: Progress slowly in a conversation. Give time and be patient, to help a rigid mind open up.

Break the conversation into parts: Ensure that the conversation is broken down into small parts. This helps the other to understand your perspective. Ask them the reason for their stubbornness : Politely ask them for a reason for their stubbornness.

It can make them self-conscious and help them reflect on their behavior, while addressing their inner needs and giving them insight into their actions. Be considerate of their opinions: Be a good listener. Try to understand the reasons why they are emphasizing on a certain point. Make them feel heard and respected. If confronted with an incredibly stressful situation, a person who fears change might find themselves living in denial. This is not beneficial for anybody. Accept change, no matter how bad it might be.

Stubborn people have trouble admitting when they are wrong. They would rather argue than suffer a blow to their ego. This is especially prevalent in fights between romantic partners.

I used to be very stubborn. I deflected that criticism by blaming her for not taking enough interest in my new passion fitness — this happened when I first became a personal trainer. I should have accepted that I was wrong. Relationships require time and attention to flourish.

An apology would have got me a lot farther than being stubborn. Stubborn people cheat themselves out of growth and transformation. They cling to past beliefs in a misguided effort to protect themselves from change. Could you imagine how ignorant we would all be if scientists behaved in this way? We would still be under the impression that the Earth is a flat object in the center of the universe.

No, thanks.